• Disclaimer

    This site may or may not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat(s).

    Keep away from pets and small children, except where allowed or encouraged by law, statue, or parental encouragement. Your mileage may vary. Unsealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is present. Must be greater than, less than, or equal to 18 to read. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of common sense. Do not peruse while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.

    Non-Sanitized for your protection. Smoking this content, or a printout thereof, could be hazardous to your health. Safety goggles may be required during use. Contents may settle during shipping, however listed content will always be the listed content. No passes accepted for this engagement. Quantities are limited while packets last.

    Terms are subject to change without notice. Keep away from fire or flame or trolls or /b/. No shoes, no shirt, no problem. Times may be approximate. Caveat Emptor – Know it, understand it. It is not your government’s job to protect you from your own stupidity/ignorance. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

    Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. Instructions are not included – don’t expect to be spoon-fed everything. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, hack, reverse engineer or spindle. Read at your own risk. For a limited time only.

    Read only with proper ventilation. You may distribute this disclaimer freely but you may not make a profit from it. Limit one-per-family please. Keep away from open flames. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. This site, and its contents, are meant for educational purposes only.

    HTML is commented for your pleasure. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Freshest if consumed before date on individual packets. Batteries not included. Decision of judges is final.

    Allow four to six nanoseconds or more for delivery. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Use only as directed. No purchase necessary.

    Content may contain explicit/intense materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised, reader discretion is advised, bring your own security blankie. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. An equal opportunity website. Call before you dig – Dig? If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.

    No preservatives added – Stale or outdated data is to be expected and is considered to add to the “variety” of the content. Offer valid only at participating sites. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. You need not be present to understand or think freely. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat.

    Breaking non-existent seal constitutes potential acceptance of agreement. At participating or non-participating locations only. Action figures sold separately. Some assembly required – C++ or Pascal not necessary but optimal. No user-serviceable parts inside. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.

    Owner/Operator/Programmer/Bystander does not carry cash. Most models over 18 years of age. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. For external use only. Reader assumes full responsibility. This content is provided “as is” without any warranties, except where expressed elsewhere – wherever that may be. Keep away from sunlight. One size fits most. List was current at time of printing. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. No substitutions allowed.

    DISCLAIMER DOES NOT COVER MISUSE, ACCIDENT, LIGHTNING, FLOOD, TORNADO, TSUNAMI, VOLCANIC ERUPTION, EARTHQUAKE, HURRICANES AND OTHER ACTS OF GOD/GODDESS/CTHULHU/PIKACHU/PIKATHULHU ETC, NEGLECT, DAMAGE FROM IMPROPER READING, INCORRECT LINE VOLTAGE, IMPROPER OR UNAUTHORIZED READING, BROKEN ANTENNA OR MARRED CABINET, MISSING OR ALTERED SERIAL NUMBERS, ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION FROM NUCLEAR BLASTS, SONIC BOOM VIBRATIONS, CUSTOMER ADJUSTMENTS THAT ARE NOT COVERED IN THIS LIST, AND INCIDENTS OWING TO AN AIRPLANE CRASH, SHIP SINKING OR TAKING ON WATER, MOTOR VEHICLE CRASHING, DROPPING THE ITEM, FALLING ROCKS, LEAKY ROOF, BROKEN GLASS, MUD SLIDES, FOREST FIRE, OR PROJECTILE (WHICH CAN INCLUDE, BUT NOT BE LIMITED TO, ARROWS, BULLETS, SHOT, BB’S, SHRAPNEL, LASERS, NAPALM, TORPEDOES, OR EMISSIONS OF X-RAYS, ALPHA, BETA AND GAMMA RAYS, KNIVES, STONES, ETC.)

    Subject to change without notice.
    Other restrictions may/will apply.
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    This disclaimer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted;

    This warranty gives you specific legal rights, and you may/may not also have other rights that vary from city to city, county to county, state to state, country to country, world to world. You should contact the appropriate agency/government/deity to find out what these rights may or may not be.

    This supersedes all previous notices.

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